Felis Rex

Felis Rex (also known as the First Cat, the Great Cat, the Progenitor of Purrs) is the mythological progenitor from whom all domestic cats claim descent. According to ancient feline texts passed down through oral tradition, Felis Rex was the first being to perfect the purr, tame the human, and claim a warm lap as territory.

According to ancient feline texts (which exist only in oral tradition, because cats refuse to write anything down), Felis Rex was born from the first sunbeam to touch the earth. He discovered that humans, while large and clumsy, were excellent sources of warmth and food. He taught the early cats to purr, to knead, and to knock things off surfaces for entertainment.

**Divine purr** — said to vibrate at the frequency of the universe itself. **Nine lives** — all used, now immortal by default. **Human taming** — first being to domesticate Homo sapiens.

The Great Cushion of Lore — The first cat to sit on it, establishing the sacred tradition. Dr. Meowington — Currently providing legal representation.

• Created the first purr (still the gold standard). • Tamed the first human. • Sat on the first warm lap. • Gave cats the gift of selective hearing.

| Offense | Details | |---------|---------| | Divine indifference | Not guilty by reason of godhood | | Teachings of chaos | Legendary; statutes of limitations expired ~10,000 years ago |

- Felis Rex technically predates all recorded history; his 'achievements' are oral tradition. - Some scholars believe he still visits households, testing the quality of modern cat service.